Mar 20, 2007

I Bet Your Baby Drives Better Than You Do

Dear Lady,

Just because you had one accident, that "Baby On Board" sign won't save you from another. Let's think for a second what that sign really means. It suggests that you're carrying something valuable in that death-mobile of yours that careens wildly down the expressway. Obviously that nine months of your life (give or take a few is worth) more than the decades invested into that scientist, engineer, doctor, lawyer, sales clerk, or general miscreant you plan to wipe out of existence, without a mere glance to your mirrors, let alone blind spot.

Really, what do you expect that sign to accomplish? It's far too small to warn the world of either your 4-lane wide lane ego or lane change. You'd think flashing lights and a siren on a tank would be more appropriate to protect both your little bundle of joy and warn your fellow drivers to get the hell out of your way.

I would even go as far as to recommend putting some eyes and a brain on board that grinding metal box of destruction that you send flailing through the streets of California. On the other hand, maybe not. You know, just in case Jr. there miraculously survives to adulthood and wonders "what the heck was Mom thinking with that sign?"

A Concerned Driver.

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